


An Essay on Dean Winchester and his character

by MarvelNerd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Character Analysis, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Essays, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not actual fic, Not much deancas, Other, its an essay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25891327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelNerd/pseuds/MarvelNerd
Summary: This is sort of an essay on my ideas about Dean as a character and his trauma, plus an argument for his bisexuality. This isn't a fic, and I avoided Destiel because you can validate his sexuality without bringing up Cas at all. A brief discussion of non-con so if that's not good for you don't read. :)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	An Essay on Dean Winchester and his character

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think! Do you agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Also, I know there are a few typos. I tried to get them out but I may have missed a few.

**Dean Winchester: An Analysis**

On September 13, 2005, the cult phenomenon Supernatural, created by Erik Kripke, first aired on WB. The show follows the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean, as they tackle hunts for monsters and countless other things that go bump in the night. The first two seasons are mostly the same; the brothers hunt a monster, kill it, and occasionally get a hint at the location of their missing father. The character this essay will analyze is Dean, the older of the pair. The main focus will be his sexuality and the heavy controversy surrounding it, but the trauma of his past and how it has affected the way he deals with self-discovery and emotion will also play a role in this analysis.

**Section A: Childhood Influence**

Mary Winchester was murdered by demon Azazel, nicknamed “yellow eyes” in the pilot episode of Supernatural. Her death led to the estrangement of John Winchester, her husband, and the father of Sam and Dean. John was overtaken by the need for revenge and took his sons on the road with him to begin a long and dangerous life of hunting. Being raised with no home and no mother, Dean was forced to act as both a father because and mother to Sam because of the frequent sequences of abandonment in various motel rooms that sometimes went on for months. In season 12 episode 12, Dean confronts Mary about this; “I had to be more than just a brother I had to be a father and I had to be a mother to keep him safe, and that wasn’t fair.” Throughout the series, Dean is shown cooking, cleaning up after, and comforting Sam in their childhood. In season 3, episode 8 “A Very Supernatural Christmas,” John doesn’t come back for Christmas even though Sam wanted him to. Dean cuts down a tree, decorates it, and wraps gifts he stole from a house up the block for Sam while claiming it was John that came back and did it just to make Sam happy. He has put Sam’s happiness above his own since before Sam even knew monsters existed. There are many other examples of Dean giving up his own happiness in his childhood for Sam’s, such as the dance he misses with his first girlfriend in season 9 episode 7 “Bad Boys” because he sees Sam playing with a toy in the Impala.

Besides simply sacrificing experiences and innocence for Sam’s happiness, Dean also takes the brunt of John’s abuse. There is admittedly not much to base this idea off of, but the few scenes and personality traits Dean has can be attributed to common results of child abuse and undeniable neglect. Psychologically, emotional neglect manifests itself in children’s behavior by burying emotions, self-worth issues, high guilt, difficulty asking for help, and feeling out of place. Childhood neglect often goes hand in hand with codependency, an “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.” Sam and Dean demonstrate these behaviors countless times throughout the series, most notably when either of them dies or is at risk of dying, they quite literally come close to ending the world just to save one another. By season six, it is beyond the point of brotherly responsibility when they constantly lie to each other in order to keep their problems and backstreet demon-deals a secret.

Dean was physically abused by John, though it is unclear to what extent and how often the beatings took place. In season 5, episode 16 “The Dark Side of the Moon”, Sam and Dean make a trip to heaven and go through their memories. One of Sam’s happiest memories is when he ran away for two weeks as a child and lived alone. Dean is infuriated that this memory is one of Sam’s happiest, why? Because “you ran away on my watch. I looked everywhere for you I thought you were dead, and when Dad came home…” Dean’s flinches, suggesting that some kind of physical altercation took place. Sam never knew about any of this because Dean took the brunt of the beatings and abuse to protect him. When Sam left them to go to Stanford, Dean was ruined. He loved and cared about his brother more than anything, had raised him, and Sam up and left as soon as he could.

Either as a defense tactic or a forced idolization, Dean tried very hard to be exactly like John. He adopts his music taste, ladies man persona (discussed later), car, mannerisms, thought process, goals, and personality. Dean is the stereotype of a “manly man” in season one. He thinks crying is lame, constantly hides his emotions, and makes fun of Sam when he expresses those things. Slowly as the show progresses small pieces of what Dean authentically might have been shine through. When he listens to Taylor Swift, admits to liking chick flicks, and cries for the first time, we as an audience see that Dean was trying to conform to his Father’s mold and be the rugged hunter he was always supposed to be.

**Section B: Repression of Emotion**

It is not a large leap of brainpower to assume the constant repression of Dean’s emotions is a direct result of his childhood trauma. Besides that, a deep dive into Dean’s emotional repression gives us a look into his character and subsequent development that takes place during the season. The first major example of Dean’s repression is season four when he gets back from hell. While Sam is constantly trying to get him to open up about his experiences, he claims to not remember anything but Sam simply does not believe him. “Instead of opening up, he drinks more, he sleeps less, he’s moody and irritable and despite a light moment here and there, generally unhappy” (Hells_half_acre). When Dean keeps closing up Sam insults him and claims hell changed him. In reality, Dean is dealing with intense guilt over the fact that he chose to torture souls instead of being tortured and, worse, that he enjoyed it. After Dean finally gives in and confesses to the horrific torture he endured and inflicted, there are other startling hints about his other experiences that he leaves out. The most disturbing of which is the constant references to sexual assault and rape that are pointed out. In the episode Wishful Thinking, Dean has a nightmare in which he cries out “No!”. Now it may seem like overanalysis to assume he’s not screaming about regular torture, but Allistair’s comments while Dean is torturing him, such as “you have not disappointed me so far. Come on. You gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you. For all the pokes and prods. Hm?” and “But daddy's little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty. Oh, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?” suggests otherwise. Dean’s reactions to all these things and more are not indicative that he ever will or was intending to talk about the horrors he endured in hell, but it is a good start in understanding the layers of his hidden emotions and attempts to seem strong.

In season 8, Dean is very good at hiding how he feels about leaving Benny and Cas in purgatory. Sam didn’t even look for him while he was stuck there, instead, he moved on and found a nice girl to settle down with. Dean doesn’t forgive him, instead, he stays relatively quiet about it; making passing statements about how he doesn’t trust him and broke their unspoken rule to always find each other. Sam is extremely passive aggressive the entire time Dean is back, making comments about missing his life. When Dean finally opens up about missing Cas and being friends with Benny, Sam questions why Dean would ever make friends with a vampire. It turns out, Dean had good reason not to open up because Sam had the audacity to say “What happens when you’ve decided I can’t be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just…” Sam wasn’t there for him, and somehow Dean is supposed to pretend everything is fine? No. Dean even starts hallucinating Cas in windows and on the street, but he doesn’t tell Sam because he doesn’t want to seem weak. Purgatory was terrifying, but Dean refuses to talk about what happened there and what happened to Cas.

In Season 10, Dean deals with the Mark of Cain. For as long as he can, Dean acts as though the mark is not affecting him. Over and over again he hides from Sam the damage it’s doing and how hard it is to stay non-violent until finally, nearly at the breaking point, he admits the power it holds over him and that he literally needs to lock himself away so as not to hurt anyone. And that doesn’t happen until he almost kills Claire and brutally murders a large group of her kidnappers. In Season 11, Dean deals with his feelings toward Amara. These are emotions he represses in particular, as Sam doesn't find out how he feels until episode 13.

**Section C: Lack of Self-confidence and Suicidal Tendencies**

As previously discussed, a common symptom of childhood abuse is an extreme lack of self-confidence. Dean has basically no self-confidence where it matters. Sure, he thinks he’s hot and can pull girls like it’s nothing for the first few seasons, but his entire personality is a copy-paste of his father. In season 3 episode 10, “dream a little dream of me” we see just how bad Dean’s self-confidence is. When he enters a sick Bobby’s dream to save him, Dean has to confront not a monster, but a clone of himself. “Joke all you want, smartass,” the copy says when Dean tries to talk his way out through humor, “But you can’t lie to me. I know the truth. I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know that when you look into a mirror you hate what you see… I mean you're going to Hell and you won't lift a finger to stop it. Talk about low self-esteem? Then again, I guess it’s not much of a life worth saving, now, is it? You’ve got nothing outside of Sam. You are nothing. You’re as mindless and obedient as an attack dog.”

When his father died at the end of season two, Dean felt like he was worth nothing. He was taught that he basically doesn’t matter his whole life and that Sam is the number one priority no matter what happens to him. He doesn’t have his own ambitions, he drives his Dad’s car, wears his dad’s jacket, and listens to his music. The dream copy proceeds to say “do you even have an original thought? All he ever did was train you, boss you around. But Sam... Sam he doted on. Sam he loved. Dad knew who you really were, a good soldier, and nothing else.” Not only does Dean feel cheated by his childhood, he seems himself as completely worthless. His mind is plagued by his Father’s demands set upon him at such a young age that it’s truly miraculous he didn’t crack sooner. To further emphasize his lack of self-worth without droning on for too long with too many examples, later in the series, Crowley even says, “No one hates you more than you. Believe me, I've tried.” When the King of Hell himself doesn’t think he can hate Dean more than he hates himself, there’s a serious problem.  
The depression side of his life is less about being sad or drinking (both of which he does frequently and in extreme excess) and more about his underlying suicidal tendencies throughout the series that even now in season 15 has not wavered. The copy of himself in his own dream tells him his life is worthless and he should just die. It’s not that Dean is an active suicide risk, he knows he’s too valuable to the world to just die, plus he would never go out without something like a bullet to himself. The loophole that Dean continues to use is “there’s a risk I could hurt Sam or end the world at all? I’ll take the responsibility immediately and make sure I die.” This loophole takes place in the following scenarios:

**\- Mark of Cain, he’s gotta deal with it alone and die.**   
**\- Crossroads deal for Sam’s life, he had one year to live and didn’t care.**   
**\- Michael vessel, locking himself in a box at the bottom of the ocean.**   
**\- Amara soul bomb, fueling himself with souls to act as a suicide bomber.**   
**\- The gun to kill Jack, but he refuses to go through with it.**   
**\- Sam gets the Croatoan virus and he chooses to just die with him.**   
**\- Dean kills himself and works with death to get Sam’s soul back.**   
**\- In “red meat” where he again kills himself to just speak to a reaper.**   
**\- When Dean kills himself for real because “ghosts need help”, Cas is dead, and he saw an opportunity.**

Putting all these scenarios together, we get to see that Dean is a depressed, self-hating, functioning alcoholic because did I mention how much alcohol he drinks? He’s admitted before he’s a functioning alcoholic, and it’s rare to catch an episode where he doesn’t have at least one beer. This is a good closer for this section, as it just shows how much he drowns out everything he feels.

**Section D: Evidence For Bisexuality**

If a casual viewer picked a random episode roughly from seasons 1-10, they would be hard-pressed to come across one that doesn’t include Dean flirting with, being flirted with, or actively sleeping with a woman. One of the key cornerstones that Dean’s personality stands on is his love for women, and to claim that part of him doesn’t exist would be ludicrous. This essay isn’t denying that Dean is very much attracted to women at all, just wanted to establish that first.

Bisexuality is the attraction to both men and women, most bisexuals are not strictly 50/50, in fact, the majority have a waxing and waning preference either way. Based on the canon we are given, Dean’s preference is women. His attraction to men, however, is not only a highly debated topic in the fandom but to some characters in the show as well. It would be unfair to cite the countless times Dean and Sam are mistaken as a couple because they are brothers and Wincest shippers are disgusting. Their reactions to being accused as such are notable and worthy of analysis. The first time this mistake happens is in season two episode eleven “playthings” when a hotel worker asks if they are “here antiquing because they look the type” and then assumes they will want a king-size bed. What’s notable isn’t her mistake, it’s the difference between Sam and Dean’s reactions to it. Sam politely tells her that they are brothers and is able to swiftly move on. Dean, however, stares at her as if she hit him in the face. It’s not a face of anger, more like a shocked one that remains there until he asks her (with a fear that is so awkward it feels out of character) “why they look the part.” Later in the room when clear Sam has moved on from the encounter, Dean brings it up again with “of course the most troubling question is why do these people assume we’re gay.” The way Dean slides it back into the conversation almost seems like he’s asking Sam for confirmation that they (or he) isn’t like that at all. This is similar to many closeted individuals’ experiences in an attempt to look as straight as possible. Why would a guy that’s comfortable in his heterosexuality ask so many concerned questions about coming across as gay? And when Sam gives him a funny look before joking that Dean “looks butch and they probably think [he’s] overcompensating.” Once again, Dean looks at the floor and shakes his head with a defeated “right,” almost like he’s accepted that he’s (once again) not doing something good enough.

So why is this important? A simple mistake from an employee and overanalysis on Dean’s reaction isn’t enough to begin to claim he’s anything but a straight-macho-girls™ man. This interaction mostly compares Dean’s response to Sam’s to point out that this argument built for Dean’s bisexuality couldn’t simply be copy and pasted onto Sam to receive the same result. Someone looking to prove Sam as anything but hetero would be hard-pressed to find real evidence in the show’s canon.

There are little things here and there between the first example and the next, such as in season 3 episode 10 “dream a little dream of me” where Dean asks if Sam's having a sex dream about Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. Dean thinks that it’s normal and completely understandable to make ‘happy noises’ while dreaming of Brad Pitt. I don’t want this analysis to sound like reaching, so I’m going to skip the majority of the minor details. The next and likely most convincing example of Dean’s bisexuality is in the season 4 episode 14 episode titled “sex and violence”, which is already an interesting title worth a mention.

The context of the monster, a siren, in this episode is very important in understanding what this means for Dean. In traditional Greek mythology, Sirens were singing enchantresses capable of luring passing sailors to their islands, and, subsequently, to their doom. In official Supernatural lore, however, Sirens typically first charm their way through the victim's defenses by reading their mind and pretending to be the "perfect person" for the victim. In the overall narrative structure of the episode, the siren in question has had three previous victims before Dean. All of them were a case of the Siren becoming a woman, making a man fall for her, sleeping with him, and killing their wives or (in the third’s case) mother. So the siren is established early in the episode as a romantic/ sexual being that lures (typically) men into sexual relationships. That is why when Sam meets the red herring of the episode, Cara Roberts, we are led to believe she will be the siren that targets the brothers. Her relationship with Sam is directly and intentionally parallel with Dean’s relationship with Nick throughout the episode. About ten minutes later, Dean meets Nick. Nick, posing as a fellow FBI agent, doesn’t start out as a guy Dean likes, as he’s rude to both the brothers and acts superior to them. He says he has a lead at the local strip club, and Sam makes Dean take Nick to it, offering advice to “focus on the naked girls and you’ll forget he’s even there.” The interaction that takes place at this club is less Dean watching naked girls, in fact, he pretty much ignores them altogether, and more talking with Nick.

The reason for this is that Mary and John Winchester fell in love because John had memorized all of Led Zeppelin songs and Mary thought he deserved a second date because of that. The first thing Nick talks about is Dean’s car, which he immediately classifies and gushes over. When they arrive at the strip club, Nick and Dean are seen seated a considerable distance away from the strippers and across from each other at a table discussing Led Zeppelin. Nick knows all the tracks and even calls Dean out when he misses a few. Dean even gives Nick his signature heart eyes, which can be seen here. Just when all of the evidence is piling up that Cara is the siren seducing Sam, Dean and Nick are seen in the Impala together. At this point in the game, Nick and Dean have barely spent any time together, but Dean offers Nick a sip from his flask anyway. This is how the Siren’s poison infects Dean, the swapping of spit on the rim of the flask. There was really no way that Nick could have known that Dean would offer him the flask so I ask; what was the backup plan? Basically all Nick had to do was know that what Dean desired most was a clean-cut, blue-eyed man in a position of power with an interest in cars, who would show him respect and share a few drinks with him. It gets even more interesting when Dean is under the curse and Sam finds Nick in the motel room, Sam doesn’t seem surprised at all to find that Dean’s Siren was a man even though he couldn’t have known about the flask, even calling Nick a “but ugly stripper” to emphasize the point.

The show chalks this whole encounter up to be that Nick was actually playing the perfect little brother that Dean always wanted; but the sexual tension throughout the episode, flirting at the strip club, and inherent nature of the Siren as a whole makes it hard to not see the subtext that a male Siren for Dean means. The actor that played Nick in this episode did an interview on his experience. Here are some highlights worth discussing;

1)  
OSM: Considering the Siren initially appears as a female that seduced men, it was almost as if gender wasn't a factor for it.

JP: Right, which is really bizarre. There had to be some way to get that across without being ridiculous. When the brothers found out I was the Siren, I couldn't keep acting like a woman and it wouldn't have been real if I kept going as a man. I tried to find something almost neutral, but displaying some kind of sexual tension. It was weird, and I don't know how I came up with that.

2)

OSM: Once the brothers were enthralled and the Siren's true nature was revealed, did you approach Nick's mannerisms or speech pattern any differently?

JP: Yeah, at that point, I thought he should be ambiguously sexual. As the FBI Agent, he was a guy's guy, but this creature wasn't a guy or a girl. I tried to find something in between and enjoyed having control over these boys in a sexual way. It's a strange way to describe it.

Why would there be sexual tension in this situation at all if Dean wasn’t attracted to men? Seriously, this makes no sense any other way with this context in place, but then again, an actor’s opinion doesn’t always mean it’s true. (sorry Misha, I wish it was.) Having control over the boys in a sexual way, specifically, has nothing to do with a brotherly Siren bond and everything to do with Dean being attracted to him.

The next example is from season 5 episode 7, “The curious case of Dean Winchester”. This is a short one without too much analysis, it pretty much just speaks for itself. The Winchesters are on a case per usual. When they go to interview a man who might have information, they walk in on the said man in the middle of a threesome. Dean proceeds to walk over to the guy, lift the blanket covering his literal crotch, stares at it, then says “huh, that’s nice. Well, you look great Cliff!” To be fair, this move can be justified by the fact that he was looking for a birthmark on the guy, but why the reaction? And why when they leave the hotel room does Dean stop, turn, wink at him, and say “Stay classy.” This one is just one of those moments where Dean does something out of the blue for no apparent reason that Sam would never even consider.  
Moving on right to the very next episode, a fan favorite titled, “Changing Channels,” Dean and Sam are thrown into a TV universe by the archangel Gabriel. The episode opens with a shot of Dean intensely focused with his mouth open on a makeout scene from the show Dr. Sexy M.D. Sam walks in on this and, of course, makes fun of him for watching a soap opera. Later after entering into the TV world through a closet, the brothers find themselves in Dr. Sexy M.D. When Dr. Sexy himself walks down the hall with dramatic swooning music, Dean gets visibly flustered similar to how a girl would react overseeing their male crush. Dean looks around, blushes, stutters, and grins in a way we have never seen him do at this point. The funniest part about this whole interaction is when Dean notices that Dr. Sexy isn’t wearing cowboy boots and claims that “what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes.” The common argument against this scene as evidence is that Dean is just acting starstruck. The flaw in this argument is that Dean actually does meet female stars from the show, but around Dr. Sexy he is much more bashful than the women. Jensen Ackles even called Dean a “closet fan of the show” when asked at a convention about the episode.

Moving right along to season 7 episode 12, “Time After Time,” I start a statement from Sam that, in context, isn’t all that incriminating for Dean. Earlier in the episode, Sam makes a joke about Dean watching anime, and later he brings the joke up again; “Are you gonna watch more anime, or are you strictly into Dick now?” Dick of course being the head Leviathan and the big bad for this season. Dean’s reaction isn’t all that shocking either, he just shrugs it off. The point of this is to set the mood for the episode, as that particular joke is what the writers chose to include for the setup. Similar to Dr. Sexy, Dean has nearly the same reaction to Eliot Ness when he is sent back to 1944. He’s less flustered and more fanboying, which is fair enough. He and Eliot are fairly “touchy-feely” throughout the episode and there’s an odd gap involving missing clothing and outfit changes, but that’s too nitpicky to really consider the evidence. What is considered evidence though, is that Dean blatantly checks a random soldier’s ass out while entering the tailor shop, which you can see here.

The introduction of Charlie was the first openly LGBT long term character on the show. She and Dean hit it off pretty quickly, and throughout the show, they only become closer. The first case they do together, Charlie claims she can’t fake flirting with the security guard because she's into girls. So what does Dean do because Charlie cannot flirt with a gender she isn’t attracted to? He says, “alright, I’m gonna walk you through this.” Not only does Dean proceed to guide her through specific actions, but the scene is shot in a split-screen fashion that makes it look like Dean is actually the one flirting with him. Then, Sam starts laughing and Dean makes him swear to never talk about it again. All I ask is, was there a reason? Continuing on about Charlie, in season 8 episode 23, Dean also helps her pick out clothes at the mall while Walking on  
Sunshine plays in the background.

Just saying.

Alright, when it comes to “there’s no possible other way to view this scene” moments, season 8 episode 13’s “Everybody hates Hitler” takes the metaphorical cake. Yes, cake. Not pie, more on that later. Dean enters a bar to interview two girls who claim to have seen a “Nazi Necromancer”. While sitting in the booth, he seems to get distracted by the man in the back of the bar who is staring at him. He proceeds to stand up, walk to said man, sit down, and introduce himself as agent Marc Bolan. Marc Bolan was an openly bisexual singer, FYI. The man, who’s name we later learn is Aaron, when Dean asks why he has been tailing him, says, “oh, so we didn’t have a thing back there?” Dean’s composure falters and he stutters out “Back where, w-what now?”, Aaron again repeats that he thought they had a “thing” back at the quad, “a little eye-magic moment.” After hearing this, the camera zooms in on Dean closing his FBI badge on the table. The FBI badge represents a fake identity, his fake self. When he closes this badge, we see Dean opening up and being vulnerable. Aaron then essentially asks him on a date, to which Dean looks at the ground, “yeah, uh, ok but — no. uh, no moment. This is a federal investigation.” Aaron really drops the ball here and freaks Dean out when he says “is that supposed to be more interesting?” Dean stares blankly, swallows looks around, and starts to stand up before Aaron apologizes, “I’m sorry if I freaked you out-.” Dean’s response is- odd, For someone who should be totally disinterested, “No. No. I-I’m n-not freaked out. Just, you know. Federal- thing.” The best part of this scene is the end of it, when he starts to back up, says “ok, uh, citizen, as you were,” and Aaron replies, “have a good night.” Then Dean proceeds to point at him, say “No- you, you have a-” and promptly crash into the cart of plates and finish with “goodnight.” There are several key points to evaluate in this scene, and I present a few questions. Why is he so flustered? Why the stuttering and looking all over the place? Put Sam in this position, for example. He would simply laugh, say “I’m not into dudes”, and walk away or continue on a normal conversation. So why does Dean act like an innocent teenager who just got asked out by their crush? He says he’s not freaked out in a very defensive tone and proceeds to literally stumble his way out of the bar in a classic trope of banging into something behind him. What really solidifies how Dean felt towards Aaron is the scene a few minutes later when he is revealed to be the keeper of the monster that they are after. Dean says, “What you’re saying is that you and me- we uh, didn’t have a moment?” to which Aaron replies, “No, man. I was just tailing you.” “Told you I was being followed,” Dean smiles to Sam, “he was my gay thing. That was really good, you really had me there. That’s very smooth.” Dean gives a pained smile that is obviously forced and looks at the ground. Two things to say here, Dean is obviously distraught that Aaron lied to him, but why? It’s because he thought he was being hit on by a guy, freaked out, got too excited, crashed into a dish cart, and then was bummed because it was all a plot to lure them in. The only plausible explanation is that Dean was interested in Aaron romantically, perhaps one of the first times he’s been outright asked and reciprocated, and was promptly told he was played. If someone asked me out as a joke even though I liked them, I would have the exact reaction that Dean had when they told me it was fake. Period.

I could mention how Dean reacts to meeting Gunner Lawless, but that would be redundant so it’s being skipped. Let’s talk more about Dean repressing things, but this time with a focus on things he views as feminine. For example; he says he doesn’t like Dr. Sexy, and then admits he’s a reluctant fan. He says “no chick flick moments,” but later admits that he does like chick flicks. He says he hates anything that’s not classic rock and then turns up Taylor Swift. He says he hates vegetable water, and then later sneaks a glass. He says he hates superheroes, but then bonds with a comic book fan over his endless array of knowledge on them. Dean’s whole character is about denying things that are later proved wrong by himself. This argument is not saying a man who likes feminine things inherently makes him gay, as Sam openly likes all these things and is not. However, if Dean is read as a potentially very closeted bisexual who is always worried about his masculinity, the constant hatred of “feminine” things starts to make sense. So, when Dean says that he “doesn’t play for the other team” as a defense that fits the previous pattern, it’s not so far-fetched to assume it as another denial. This is especially true considering that, even when the offers from men press forward, Dean doesn’t use outright denial anymore, usually cracking a joke like; “spanky the demon. yeah, I heard about you. you’re the one who uses too much teeth, right?”(8.01) and when a guy tells Dean to get on his knees, and Dean replies “well I’m awfully flattered but..”

Now that we’ve talked about random interactions with strangers and Sam, the list of main characters that Dean has a less-than-straight relationship is in line for analysis. Up first is the king of Hell himself, Crowley. The very first thing we see Crowley do is kiss a businessman simply to call out his homophobia, which is already kind of iconic. The other person we see Crowley kiss is Bobby Singer after selling his soul to seal the deal, followed by Crowley’s line “why’d you use tongue?” Throughout the series, Crowley is seen as a fairly openly queer character who regularly flirts with both men and women for personal and professional reasons. The major turning point for his character is in the season eight finale. To complete the final trial in closing hell, Sam and Dean kidnap Crowley and pump his full of human blood to turn him human. This fails, but Crowley gains emotions he had previously lost and gets addicted to human blood the same way Sam was addicted to demon blood. During this time, Crowley experiences overwhelming human emotion and grows notably more attached to Dead than he was originally. Even when he gets off the blood, this attachment doesn’t leave him. His true feelings for Dean are really revealed in season 9 episode 23, “Do you believe in miracles?”. At the end of the episode, Dean is dead and Crowley makes a speech to his dead body before turning him into a demon. “Your brother, bless his soul. Is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal, bring you back. It’s exactly what I was talking about, isn’t it? It’s all become so… expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you take the mark of Cain, I didn’t know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That’s important. It’s fundamental. (He talks more about Cain, not too important). Listen to me Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now, it’s not death. It's like- a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. Let’s go take a howl at that moon.”

Crowley turns Dean into a demon so that he will go on a road trip escapade. He hasn’t felt emotions in centuries, but when it comes to Dean he feels bad about things going sideways. The pair continue to go on a summer-long road trip later referred to jokingly as “the summer of love” by Sam. On this road trip, many things happen that are not exactly heterosexual. First, Dean doesn’t care at all when Crowley pops into his room after having sex with a girl, and it is later said that they “shared triplets”. In the first episode of season 10, we see Dean and Crowley playing foosball (phallic imagery) with a pair of male twins in flannel when the third can be seen at the bar behind them. Of course, it is very possible the pair ran into a set of female triplets later on in their trip, but why include the male ones in the first episode? Oh also, the two are seen talking in a gay bar called “the pink flamingo”, which can be seen here. See the pictures in the back? Not a normal dive bar.  
Crowley is quick to realize demon Dean isn’t the perfect companion he thought he would be. In fact, he sends Dean back to Sam to fix him. For the rest of the season, Crowley is seen slacking in hell and pining for Dean constantly. At one point, he sits in a bar drinking and looking at a picture of him and Dean as Hey There Lonely Girl by Eddie Holman plays. He is mocked by his demons and told to “move on” while also being called the Winchester’s bitch, (especially Dean’s) which he doesn’t deny. Crowley continues to do everything Dean asks him to, leading to his death in season 12 episode 13 “All along the Watchtower” when he dies in order to save the brothers. During the funeral for Castiel, Dean admits that losing Crowley was also part of the failure to trap Lucifer.

**Works Cited**   
_DeanIsTheHeroOfMyStory. "Dean 'Repressing' Emotions." Tumblr, 16 Oct. 2016, lovethediseasedkillerpuppy.tumblr.com/post/151868532172/dean-repressingemotions. Accessed 9 July 2020._   
_Hell's Half Acre. "Male Sexual Assault in Supernatural." Live Journal, Nov. 2011, hells-half-acre.livejournal.com/279809.html. Accessed 20 July 2020._   
_Martin, Sharon, LCSW. "The Link Between Childhood Emotional Neglect and Codependency." PyschCentral, 28 Dec. 2017, blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2017/12/the-link-between-childhood-emotional-neglect-and-codependency/. Accessed 18 July 2020._   
_Parrack, Jim. Videoconference interview. Conducted by Bryan Cairns, 13 Feb. 2010._   
_"Sirens." Greek Mythology, GreekMythology.com, 2020, www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Creatures/Sirens/sirens.html. Accessed 20 July 2020._


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